Blonde Jokes post here. =P

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

This may not be funny and may too simple but what the heck...xD


How many Blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb?

Ok so theres three girls trapped on an island......A brunette and red head and a blonde....They are 100 miles from shore. They brunette decides she wants back to civilization so she swims 20 miles and drowns...The red head tries and she swims 35 miles and drowns. The blonde has her turn so she swims 50 miles but then she gets tired and swims back to the island. God i hope you guys get it...

why did the brunnette drown?


Brunnettes are the hot ones :shed tears:

i got it tim :p

A blonde a brunette and a red blocked at the paradise entrance. a hundred stairs stand between the paradise gate and the 3 lads. To open the gate, they have to read the 100 jokes without laughing. IF they laugh, they get down to hell.

The brunette reads the first joke. She laughs, and get down to hell.
The red reads joke, but at the 30th joke she laughs, so she gets down to hell.
The blond comes up to the 99 th stair, but she laughs, and gets down to hell.

The 2 other lads get mad, and ask her why she couldn't not laugh just once more, and the blonde answers : "i just understood the first joke !"

Another one ( real life that time xD ) :

"Today, i've read blonde jokes to make fun of my colleagues. I didn't understand the first one."

all the ladies are in hell...why is that even funny?!


A blonde walks into a store and asks the clerk if they have bleach for clothing:

"Excuse me mister do you have any bleach here?"

No mam it seems you already have plenty"

lol blonde jokes suck, they have been around for years, ive heard them all, they are as old as the hills...

Irish jokes are better, but again, all old...(or offensive)

Heres a good one, a really good one. Read on...

Three mates go on holiday to a skiing resort. After checking in at the digs, they are informed that there has been a mix up with bookings and they are regestered for the couples bedroom suite. After a day out on the snow the three lads go back to the room and have no choice to share the double bed between the three of them. After a sound nights sleep the three lads awake on the morning. The guy sleeping on the left said "Wow i had a f**king awesome dream, i dreamt somebody gave me a handjob!". The guy on the right turned round and said "Hey you wont believe this, i had the exact same dream!" The guy in the middle frowned and said "Lucky for you two, all i dreamt about was skiing....."

How do you kill a blonde?
You glue a scratch n sniff to the bottom of a pool.......I got a million!!

trolololo phoenix.

About belgiums :

An american, a french, and a belgium get trapped by a wild people in an island. Their leader says them that they got to put 100 fruits of any sort in their ass to be left alive. The american refuses and gets killed. The french finds little baits, and while he get's at end, he laughs like hell, all baits get off of his ass, so he gets killed. In paradise, the american asks to the french : why the fly a kite have you laughed ? the french answers " i couldn't not laugh when i saw the belgium coming out with 100 coco nuts " xD

Another for cibbicom :

How to get a belgium mad ? put him in a roundish room, and tell him that there's a chips cornet in one of the corners of the room.

Another for russians :

An english, a french and a russian get trapped by tribals. The leader gives them the favor to chose their death between being hang, shot down, or head cut ( guillotine ).

The french says that he'll follow customs, so he chooses head cut. The tribals get the machine ready, launch it, but it fails, and the french is alive. Tribal leader gets upset, but he thinks that god didn't want the french to die, so he leaves him go.

The english having seen the scen, he chooses the head cut. Tribals make their best to make the machine work, launchs it, and just before it reachs english's neck, it stops. Leader gets mad, but god is still god, so he leaves english go.

The russian chooses to get hang. Puzzled, the leader asks him without thinking why he doesn't choose the head cut like the 2 others. Russian answers : "don't you see that it doesn't work ?"

trololololol these jokes are cool

@Aju Yeah russians are pretty stupid. They basically do whatever you tell them to.

lool so many jokes I havent heard before. Anyway: my turn.

A blonde and a brunnette jumped off the building at the same time. Who landed first??

The brunnette because the blonde had to stop and ask for directions. :L

Tim Skywalker wrote:

@Aju Yeah russians are pretty stupid. They basically do whatever you tell them to.

Thx

Hey Its not my fault that Im Italian!!! Its just Italian kids are brought up no to like Russians..sorry for that.

Laff = russian?

No Silly laaf=lamer
Laaf<3

How about this one: A blonde, brunette and ginger were running from the police.
They saw 3 sacks and they each hid in 1 sack.
The police first kicked against the sack with the ginger who awnserd: "miauw".
So the police thought it was a cat and they kicked against the 2nd sack with the brunette and she awnserd: "arf,arf".
So the police thought it was a dog.
So they came at the 3rd sack wich the police kicked against containing the blonde who awnserd:
"bag of patatoes, bag of patatoes"

Lool.

Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row boat.

The driver blonde turned to her friend and said "You know - it's blondes like that that give us a bad name!"

To this, the other blonde replies "I know it, and if I knew how to swim, I'd go out there and drown her!

Why did the blonde have to drink a hot pepsi?


Because she couldn't fit any ice into the bottle.


My mate told me that at school, but it's really bad lol

In america we have something called a "neck". When someone trys to be funny and its downright stupid you "neck" him. Slap your hand right on his neck and rub it off. If possible....neck him.