First topic message reminder :
I don't want to abuse my forum rights, so I do what everyone is able to do: open a new topic. I think sometimes an argument - or lets call it a fight - has to carried through in order to be settled. Aborting it, takes the chance of settling it. Maybe this cannot be settled, but I am willing to find out.
I see that you are entitled to your opinion for now, as I am entitled to mine. So instead of giving you my theory about what you think and do, I want to make clear what I think about you: I don't hate you now, not at all. All my hate is reserved to Devy (and it has nothing to do with cheats, as I said before). I am just disappointed. And I can only be disappointed because I deemed you a friend, like you deemed me a friend once.
And I am not as much disappointed about the facts here. Many ppl script, and it doesn't bother me and I still like these ppl. Many ppl leave the clan, and I only feel a loss for SoL and not disappointment in the person who left. Other people too kept important reasons for their action secret, this is very common and it would be stupid to be disappointed about this.
I am disappointed, because I get the feeling, that you are trying so hard to keep your record clean. To me, since you told me your reasons for departure, your official reasons for leaving seemed like a try to make your leaving seem like obeying to the voice of your heart. But in our talks you never mentioned this voice. You never mentioned your wish for another type of competition. I won't say now, that this statement is a lie or hypocrisy. It just didn't make sense to me, after seeing you drop out of Xaulos. It seemed to me, that you were trying so hard to keep your record clean in the public, that you didn't care for the feelings of the people, you were calling friends before.
I get the same feeling because of the ks. I always thought, that you - as one of the members who grew to cyan so fast and who was a role model for so many "newer" members of SoL - would never even consider using a ks against anybody. And when I read your reasoning now for why you use it, it just didn't look like Zelah to me. To me this reasoning sounds so much like what Grimmjow always says, while you criticize his practice all the time. And because of that, I had the impression, that you'd be telling me this, to appear unchanged and to still appear reasonable. I was wondering how you could argument in favor of using a ks at all, and I couldn't find no other reason than a wish to keep the record clean.
Let's just assume I accept what you say as honest, can you really not understand, that it doesn't seem plausible to me?
To put an end to all too hostile comparisons: You seemed like George Lucas to me, who made 3 awesome movies and who once said, that it doesn't come down to the special effects, but to the story, the plot of a movie. And after a while George Lucas came up with a remastering of those movies, and he is trying to sell to me, that this remastering was for the better. I can't help but believe, that Lucas is turning his fans down, probably for the money, while he tries to cover it up with seemingly shallow reasons.
Now I am ready to grant him the chance of a doubt and I am asking him, if he can't really understand my position too.