First topic message reminder :
Dear members of SoL,
I honestly never thought, that this would happen, but it finally did. But a clan’s decision of October this year has sealed the deal for me and ended my journey with this clan. Since I am with SoL since the beginning and one of the few members to be somewhat present throughout all that time, I feel the urge for one last post. I’ve became used to the fact, that probably no-one will read my post, but that has never stopped me from posting. A proof for the fact, that I haven’t changed so much as the clan did.
I think my departure has to do with 3 major points:
1. I don’t play this game anymore.
When I picked up playing JK2 again in 2009 it was mostly out of nostalgia. It was and still is a great game, one of the best from the Star Wars universe and has the coolest and fairest lightsaber fighting set for a multiplayer game out there, that I know of. The multiplayer also offers great CTF modes and maps and lots of possibilities to goof around. It’s not just a braindead shooter. JK2 is great.
When I re-entered the game I found a great group of friends to goof around with. I enjoyed playing my kind of style with others who played this kind of style too. The whole ks’ers problem was a major one back then. But it has grown worse and worse I think. I remember how more and more we had to compromise with cheaters. Outcast’s bubble of JK2 had one good thing: It seemed like we knew who was evil and who was good. I didn’t have to deal with dickheads like Devy and Boss at eye level. My interest in the game got lost, when I couldn’t play a round of CTF without being fly a kite over by ks’ers. I don’t even remember that dickhead’s name, but he was constantly playing on our server. I am glad I forgot his name though
Sure: I was raging like a puppy. But that’s a sign for me, that I was not up to this game anymore. And the less I play, the less braced I am for this game. So I don’t play it at all.
2. The group of friends has mostly vanished.
The newly founded SoL wasn’t only a brainchild of mine to a high degree, it was also the place where many of my ingame friends came to. Those who joined in that time, became my friends too. I could swear the people of that time were different to nowadays. Many of them participated within the SoL we were all creating together. In other words: We all were creating SoL together. We shared the engagement into this project, which I highly enjoyed. I enjoyed writing shitload of stuff together with Kernow and Phoenix, I enjoyed arguing with Mereel and Lucifer, I enjoyed planning with Sebbat and Epic, I enjoyed solving problems with Nick and Igrom, I enjoyed testing Aju’s maps, I enjoyed meme’ing with hektor and Danek.
But over the years all those people have gone inactive, left the clan or just disappeared. Many of the new people I never got to know like that, I never grew so close to them. But the SoL we created didn’t need to work like that. Many clans only work as a group of friends. But we created SoL to work despite the change of personnel, the come and go of members. And I am very proud on the SoL we created. However: For quite some time I feel like I am a citizen of this state called SoL. I am home in this state, as it represents me and my values. But my family has gone and I feel like I am one of the last of my species. I feel like I am Yaddle: somewhat alone, but still home at the Jedi Council.
What I am trying to say: If the clan had undergone major changes, if we all started to use aimbot or admin abuse, I might have stayed under the condition, that I would still be with my friends, whose presence I enjoy. But they have gone, and the only thing keeping me attached to the game was the clan, that I thought was my home. I thought that people, who join it, would want to represent it and its values and it represented them and their values.
3. SoL has abrogated itself.
I can understand that sacrificing one’s time for a game in any other way than playing it, might be not appealing for many people. So I could pretty much understand, if there are a lot of people not participating within the democratic processes of the clan. It was sad to see, but I could understand it. Luckily we always had a minimum of members, who kept the democratic spirit of the clan alive by their hard work and commitment. Without Solid Snake, Lightmaster or Yodah this democracy would have died out from the lack of participation quite a few times. But at least it would have died with its integrity intact. Yes, I am very proud of the democratic character of SoL. But I was just as proud of the fair play mentality the clan once had - if not even prouder. It seems to me like the utmost irony that the democratic participation within a poll to make mwheel legitimate is the highest we had in ages. People, who don’t really care to involve into forming the clan and living the democracy, people who seemingly have little regard for the democracy itself – people like that use the democratic means to kill the second core value of SoL besides democracy: fair play.
If then a certain someone accuses me of disregarding the means of democracy, I feel utterly destroyed. My commitment for the democratic system has not decreased within all these years. In 2017 I have revised or newly translated many pages of texts into German for our website. The SoL System was important enough for me, to spend days in order to translate it, as many other things were translated at that point. It was also with a lot of my dedication, that we could refine our recruitment process. I used my time and influence to set up proper ways to find a democratic solution and a democratic change, instead of using my sway to just keep the stuff as it is – which I still think would have been better. But with my regard for the democracy we held, I preferred to let the vox populi be heard. As a proof for my view on these things: Just look at what happened after the poll about mwheel has passed. No-one cared to publish or enact the decision. No-one had enough care for our democratic system to integrate the changes on the official parts. “Who cares, as long as I can finally cheat?”
And yes, allowing mwheel is that big of a deal, as it should be for anyone who is in SoL.
a) mwheel is just like another kind of ks. Some say, it’s an even better ks, since you can be very flexible with it. It depends on what kind of ks you’d use otherwise of course, but a mwheel allows you to kick as efficient like a ks – and yet be flexible with it like with a normal +moveup setup. There are ppl for whom binding +moveup to mwheel has never worked, so you are basically allowing people to bind “+moveup;wait x;-moveup” to their mwheel in order to make it work. It’s a proper script. And even if you only bind +moveup to mwheel, it fundamentally changes the intended way of how to kick. You’re meant to tap a key twice in a fast manner to kick and not do one roll of your mwheel to kick. The idea of the mwheel is to do 2 moves with 1 move and it’s set up in a way, that you spam the command very often (more than twice even) with only one move, in order to make it work.
(Yes, the intention does play a role. We do quite a few things that were not intended, I understand that: strafing, grip kicking, pull kicking etc. The big difference is: strafing, grip kicking and things alike are learnable skills within the game. If you fight someone with gk and pk you compare your skill. If you use mwheel however, there’s no skill to compare in this regard. Yes, there is still footwork, positioning and timing. But you take the tapping of your jump key out of the equation. A sword fight is not the same as a shoot-out.)
b) “it’s just for casual ffa, why are you mad?” Why are you not mad? My major point is: SoL has changed. We have had this discussions before and even the most ambitious people in fighting deemed it not right for SoL to use mwheel at all. I am not sure, if there is a “right” judgement about this matter, but there was a judgement that meant a core value of SoL. Until this poll our own integrity was more important than the competition with other ks’ers. Until this poll we took pride in not relying on any cheating for our way of playing the game. Until this poll the goal of the clan was to create a better environment for the game and the weaker players to learn in peace instead of being relentlessly owned by ffa’ers and their scripts. Until this poll we wanted to lead by example. Yes, that always seemed like a high goal for me and a tough vow. And I could understand people that wanted to “level grounds” and fight those people at eye level some time. And I had a lot of compassion for those, who sometimes secretly and with remorse fell from grace and used ks to fight ks’ers. Their remorse and secretive manner told me, that they were still bound by their vow. But now the vow has been disregarded. We are no example anymore. Sure, maybe the game has been changed and maybe the clan had to change with the game. People say that since the game has come out. But if it is true now, my basic point still stands true: The clan has changed. That’s no longer a clan I want to be part of.
c) I am discouraged by the understanding of “fair play” as of late. I always thought that “playing fair” is a definite way of playing that does not change with the players, but that is bound to the game. While I see that definitions can vary, I was always ready to discuss our definition of how the game is meant to be played. If someone came up with a better definition, I would have changed my mind. And I certainly changed my mind several times over the years. When I first rejoined I only deemed NF-duels as the right way to play the game. I learned to expand my understanding by accepting and cherishing FF. And I even came to understand that FFA is a part of the JK2 skillset. But cheating cannot be part of it for the reasons stated above. But explaining “fair play” with “levelling grounds” is not working out. The principle of levelling grounds is not compatible with a definite way of playing the game. It is always bound to the levels of players and making the game even for the different approaches.
Example: If in boxing it grew popular to punch your opponent on his balls, you could approach it either by “levelling grounds” or by “fair play”. If you take the “fair play” approach you’d ask yourself what boxing is all about and what was the right way to box. Then you wouldn’t punch your opponents on his balls – even if the majority did it. But as soon as you take the “levelling grounds” approach, you stop asking yourself what the right way of playing is. You might look for whoever is in the majority (an argument that has often been used in favour of mwheel/ks), or whatever is more comfortable or more advantageous for yourself or whatever. And in the end, when everyone in boxing is now “levelling grounds” and punching each other on the balls – congrats on your achievement.
Thus the torch of fair play has died in my eyes. I no longer want to be part of this clan.
This covers my whole reasoning. Don’t even bother defending yourself if you feel offended – I’ve already tried discussing and talking it over with no success. I mean this post as an explanation, as to why this poll is the final nail in the coffin that is my time within this clan/game. I guess most of you wouldn’t have ever thought for me to leave this clan that has my lifeblood in it in so many ways. I will only take notice of those who want to wish me farewell.
I have written all of this at the beginning of December – that is one month after my decision to leave and one month before posting it. I had enough time to think it over. It’s certainly more time for me to think it over than others used to join, leave and rejoin the clan.
I am sorry if this post sounds bitter. It is. And I am a drama queen. Other leaving posts are much more beautiful than mine. But I wouldn’t have ever left, if there wasn’t a good reason for it, sadly the reasons don’t make for an emotional leaving post.
There are people I haven’t mentioned above, who I will miss nonetheless. I can’t leave without giving them a shout out! I will miss you Vader, BlueNinja, Leo, Manta, Graan, Xemnas, Gonza, Grimm, Draco, Skambak, Bacara, Cibbi, Micr0, Wolfy, Rachel, Hora, Alien, Ferret, Luke, Ted, Pip, Reaver, Meanie, Trin, Lusant, Ichigo, BlackKnight, Garret, Vort, Purplez, Enel, Joeker, Dark Master, Peace, Dudeman, GGM and more, who haven’t even been in SoL. Don’t be sad, if I didn’t call your name here. If I forgot to mention you, I will miss you even more once your name crosses my mind!
I will be around until all my official positions are taken over.